Last night was my first, and I am sure not last, rough night. Chrisitan and I went to the new Harry Potter movie. Being opening night and all we had to go early. We were there about a hour before they let us into the theater and we sat there smelling popcorn, hot dogs, seeing smooties... Needless to say it was quite hard. We came home and for some reason I wanted a bowl of cereal REALLY bad! Why cereal? I dont know! As I laid on the couch feeling like crying I tried to figure out what the real issue was. I started thinking about the day and this came to mind. I called my sister earlier in the day because I couldnt find a babysitter and was just getting frustrated and needed to vent. When she answered I found out that she was at my parents house. Sitting there with my mom and other sister. This has been an issue for me for a while because I feel like I will never have the relationship that I want with my mom or sisters. I feel like they cant let go of my past and it will always affect things. I have spoken to them about my feelings and it doenst do much so I try to just live with it. After remebering this I realized that as we walked out of the movie, the rest of my family was in line for the next showing. I knew they were there, I was the one that told my dad to get us earlier tickets so it would be easier on a babysitter. I think seeing them all together without me just set off the emotional flood that followed later. I know that I am an emotional eater. At nights after the kids are in bed I want to snuggle on the couch with a bowl of chips or ice cream just to relax and actually enjoy a meal. Most of the time I am not even hungry and I realize that this is not healthy and one thing I need to change. I still have the craving for cereal and who knows how or if it will go away. I have not cheated on my diet and WILL NOT! I want to loose this weight and be the woman I want to be and have my confidence back!